


Man's Best Friend

by Whreflections



Category: Dogsbody - Diana Wynne Jones, Supernatural
Genre: Almost entirely pre-slash, Also Ellen and Jo and Rufus are cats, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Dog Castiel, Gen, M/M, Mechanic Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-26
Updated: 2012-09-26
Packaged: 2017-11-15 03:03:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/522443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whreflections/pseuds/Whreflections
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is a star with a high position among the luminaries when he is accused of murder. After being cast out of the skies by Uriel and Raphael, he's sentenced to live as a dog on earth until he can find the murder weapon and return it...or until he dies. Lucky for him, Dean happens to find him in Bobby's junkyard...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so this was written for the 2009 fusion challenge over at deancastiel on lj. Dogsbody is one of my favorite books, so the chance to do this was really wonderful. I reread the book as I was writing, and I tried to work as much of it in as possible though I changed quite a bit to suit my purposes too. I'm not entirely happy with the ending and part of me wishes I'd made this story longer, but I did enjoy working on it a lot.

Castiel had never expected this to get so out of hand. The day had started normally enough(or so he thought), but now he was standing in front of Raphael in court, his Zoi missing, having been cast God only knew where in the struggle.   
  
He held his head up high, stared Raphael down. “I’m telling you, my brother, I did  _not_  kill Michael! We fought, yes, and the Zoi was knocked out of my hands but I swear to you, it ended there! I’m not sure where it went after that, and either way, Michael walked away from that fight in one piece. Whoever murdered him, maybe they used the Zoi and maybe they didn’t but it certainly wasn’t me and they did it _after_  he left!”   
  
“Castiel, we have heard your story for the past hour. The evidence is overwhelming against you, and there is no one to-“  
  
“Ask Ruby, Uriel! Surely she can speak for my character if nothing else!” He cut his eyes to where she stood on the edge of the courtroom, bathed in shining red light. She was younger than him, a brighter luminary but not as big or as strong. He’d always felt protective toward her because of that, and he’d been sure she cared for him as well. Now, she just looked resigned.   
  
“Ruby can tell us nothing of value, as she was not  _there_ when the murder took place.”   
  
“It _wasn’t_ a murder, it was-“  
  
“Silence!” Raphael, again. Castiel clenched his jaw shut, blazed a little brighter blue. This was utterly absurd. “The evidence is indeed too overwhelming to discount, Castiel. Given your history of insurrection-“  
  
“I have never-“  
  
“And your frequent disagreeance with this court, we have every belief that is more than enough motive for you to murder Michael, due to his status as an authority. However, most of your conduct has been beyond reproach. Therefore we have decided…” Raphael stood, burning brighter as he delivered the official ruling. “The typical punishment for murder is a life for a life.  _However_ , given your stature, we have decided to grant you a lesser sentence. You will be sent down to the planet where the Zoi fell, and if you are able to recover it within your lifespan, you may return to your position among us. This court is adjourned.”   
  
“But I-“ He hadn’t even finished the words when everything went black.   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
The change was sudden, and startling. The only thing he knew at first was a horrible damp penetrating  _cold_. He could feel his body shaking with it already, and when he squinted his eyes open he saw a wall of black and faint light above, all of it fuzzy. It hurt, and he didn’t try to look around very hard. He curled as close in on himself as he could, a low whine bubbling from his chest when something around his neck poked him as he tucked his head in. He was thoroughly miserable, and he realized after some time that he could remember nothing but  _this_. If there had been anything before the water that clung to his fur and the way the chill of it made him practically rattle, he had no idea what it was. Hopefully, it had been warmer.   
  
He wasn’t sure how long he spent like that, drifting, but after awhile he could feel a harsher light against his eyes, almost blinding when he blinked into it. It was a little warmer, too, but only on his face and only a little. The rest of him…that was still freezing.   
  
“Over this way, I think this door over here’ll do it.”   
  
The voice startled him, loud and close, but he could do little more than twitch a little. He was so  _very_ cold.   
  
“Thanks, Bobby, you know this really saves me some…the hell is that?” Something shadowed over him them, blocking the meager heat he’d had and he whined, a shivery, weak sound. “That a puppy?”   
  
“How the hell’d he get in there?”   
  
“Jesus, look at him, he’s shaking like crazy.” Before he knew it he was being picked up by big sturdy hands, and it shocked him enough that he would’ve tried to twist away if they hadn’t been so warm. As it was he whined again, scrabbled for a hold that might make him feel a little more secure. “Rumsfield have a girlfriend out here you don’t know about?”   
  
“Kid, does anything about that puppy look like a Rottweiler to you? Looks like a pound collar on his neck.”   
  
“Yeah, think so, but how the hell’d he get out? I mean, I’m no expert on dogs or anything but he looks like he could hardly hold his own stumbling a few feet much less anything else. Looks too small for them to have let him go with anyone.”   
  
“Dogs and cats and who knows what else are coming in here all the time. If someone did take him, he coulda gotten carried off back here but hell, who knows.” The other voice shuffled closer, a different hand sweeping down his side. “Dean, the poor thing’s half dead, don’t you think that-“  
  
“No! No, I don’t.” The first hands pulled him back, pressed up against something warm and solid, shifted him to wrap something around him from behind and hold him there. “C’mon, Bobby, I’ve been putting up with Sam’s cats for years. We had that dog when we were kids, remember? Be nice to have a dog around again.”   
  
“Well, don’t get your hopes up. Had an ex-girlfriend that bred retrievers once, don’t know how many times she told me cold puppies always die, and he looks well on his way there.”   
  
“We’ll see about that.” The cloth wrapped harder around his back, pressing him close. “Look, if I’m gonna try to keep him alive I gotta go get him dry. I’ll be back out this afternoon to pick up the door, ok?”   
  
“Whenever you have the time, you know I’ll be here.”   
  
“Thanks, Bobby.” They were already moving, jostling, and he whined, kicked a little against the one carrying him. The movement slowed, one hand sliding up to cover the back of his head, gentle. “Shhh, hey, it’s ok little guy. It’s ok.”   
  
Even though he couldn’t understand the words there was something about his voice, something kind and rough and warm, and he settled in comfortably. He was starting to dry and he hadn’t been dropped back into the cold wet place and the hands around him felt strong and secure. He let a noise that was more sigh than whimper ease from his throat before he started to drift off, tired enough that he barely registered the sound of something loud and rumbling around them.   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
When he woke up again, there was a lot of noise of a different kind.   
  
“It doesn’t  _matter_  if he was somebody’s ok? They fucked up and lost him and he almost died! C’mon, I thought you liked dogs!”   
  
“Dean, I love dogs, you know that. And he’s cute, I’m not saying he isn’t, I was just sayin’ that that looks like a purebred dog, and if someone got him from the shelter, they’re probably missing him right now.”   
  
“And I say they’re dicks. He’s stayin’ with us.” The hands shifted something warm closer up around his shoulders and he whimpered, wriggled closer to the touch. “Shh, he’s wakin’ up.”   
  
“I can see that.”   
  
“Alright, smartass.” He hadn’t really realized it before, but now that he was dry and warm and awake again, he was  _ravenous_. He struggled to get to his feet under the pressure of the hand over him, yelped loudly to try and get his point across. “Geez, got some lungs on him, doesn’t he?” The hands scooped him up again, pulled over and into his lap. “Easy there, little guy. You’re ok.”   
  
“Dean, he’s probably hungry.”   
  
“Shit.  _Shit_. Yeah, you’re probably right.” The gripping hands shifted, let him struggle to his feet and kept only one restraining arm around him. “Hey, you think he still needs milk?”   
  
“I’d say so. A little bit at least. He’s got teeth so we could probably start feeding him a little puppy food with it too but, yeah, I’d say he definitely needs some milk.”   
  
“Well?”   
  
“You want me to go get it? I thought you just made a big deal when you brought him in about how this was gonna be  _your_  dog not mine cause all the cats were ‘mine’. Which, by the way, I never kept them from liking you. You just didn’t spend time with them.”   
  
“He  _is_  my dog.”   
  
“Then if he needs milk-“  
  
“Hey, I’m keepin’ an eye on him. Makin’ sure he doesn’t fall off the couch or get attacked by the cats or somethin’.” Feeling annoyed and forgotten, he squalled again, both hands quickly wrapping around him. “Hey, sh,sh, sh, it’s ok. See, Sam, he’s hungry! Will you just go get the poor dog some milk?”   
  
There was a loud sigh, and he cracked his eyes open in time to see a slightly blurry, bigger hand reach down to rub the back of his head. “Yeah, alright. Be right back.”   
  
He was still hungry. He whined, blinked and opened his eyes a little wider, shoved himself up high enough on his legs to try to start walking. “Hey, where do you think you’re going? Just sit tight, Sammy’ll be right back.” He whined, annoyed, and hand rubbed gently against the back of his head again. “Yeah, he’ll be back. Shouldn’t be long, ok? If I know Sammy, he’ll know right where to find whatever it is you need. That kid knows all kinds of random crap.” The hand shifted, fingers trailing lower, and he could feel them wrap around the thing around his neck. “Castiel, huh? That your name? Gotta say, that’s a mouthful, buddy. Cas? You like that?”   
  
The hands shifted him close enough that he could feel the steady thump of a heartbeat, and though he let out one more hungry yelp just to make sure he’d been heard, he couldn’t help but settle in closer to the sound. It was nice, even and steady and warm.   
  
“Alright. Cas.” The hand rubbed him again, gentle. “Well, I’m Dean. And that was Sam. And you’re gonna be safe here, bud. Don’t worry.”   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
The first couple of weeks were a little bit of a blur. There was a box and it had something warm in it, but he didn’t really like it there. Dean put him there for hours at a time sometimes, and even though it was ok while he was asleep, the minute he woke up it wasn’t quite as inviting anymore. Almost every time he woke either hungry or desperately lonely. There was a part of him that seemed to be trying to remember something else all the time, but even though it couldn’t it  _could_ remember that before, he’d never been alone. He’d been connected to something vast, something that involved so many others outside himself and being so cut off now felt  _wrong_ , like an amputation. He hated being alone.   
  
Whenever he could, Dean was there to pick him when he cried. He shushed him and cradled him in the crook of his arm, talked to him while he let him drink milk from a bottle. That didn’t last as long as Castiel would’ve liked for it to, but even when Dean started offering the milk to him in a pan with bigger bits of something good stuck in it Dean kept talking to him while he ate. He’d take him outside, let him roll around in the grass awhile to, as Dean put it “teach him early”(whatever that meant) before bringing him back inside. He’d tuck him inside that jacket of his that smelled so good, let Cas curl up against his chest and fall asleep there. That sequence was the one he liked best, but far too often he woke and cried only to find Dean quickly shoving his milk and food at him, telling him that he had to be quiet and leaving him in the box. Either that or Sam was there, and though he was kind and gentle and Cas couldn’t help but like his voice, he wasn’t  _Dean_ , and it just wasn’t the same. He didn’t hold Cas the way Dean did, didn’t take the time to talk to him while he ate. He fed him quick, took him out even quicker, and when it was over he’d drop him back in the box, ruffling his ears and saying something about studying and how Dean would be home soon.   
  
Those were definitely some of the words Cas learned first. ‘Dean’ was the most important, as his hands were the ones that had pulled him out of the cold, warmed him and cared for him for as long as he could remember. Dean was the center of everything, and every word he learned after he started learning was centered around that context. ‘Home’ was important because it meant that wherever it was Dean had gone, he’d be back soon when Sam said it. ‘Garage’ was another big one, because whenever Dean said that it meant it would be one of the days when Dean didn’t talk to him much, when he shoved his food at him hurriedly and kept a blanket over the box, keeping him out of the light. The garage was full of loud noises and strange smells, and though at first he’d whined a lot he’d gotten used to it fairly quick.   
  
At first, nothing outside of the box and hands had mattered or even made much sense, but every day on his runs outside he could feel himself getting stronger, steadier. The light didn’t hurt his eyes anymore, and when he found out one day while Sam wasn’t paying attention that he could get his paws up and hook them over the edge of the box. He’d yapped in surprise at that development, and though Sam had been quick to push him back and say something about Dean breaking his neck if he let Cas fall, the need to get out of the box had taken hold.   
  
Still, he didn’t try particularly hard until that night. He’d fallen asleep on Dean’s chest after dinner, and when he woke up again he was in the box, settled under a soft towel. It was dark and he was warm, and usually at this point he’d roll over and fall back to sleep. Now, though, he was curious. He could smell Dean somewhere nearby, warmth and leather and motor oil and soap, and he could hear him breathing softly in the quiet. Dean was  _here_ , and if he could get out, he could get to him. He scraped at the side ineffectively for a minute before he remembered just how he’d reared up on his back paws before, and it took a little scrabbling to get his paws hooked over the side. Once he had, his first attempt to haul himself up landed him on his back, wriggling. Undaunted, he grabbed the edge with a bit of momentum the second time, struggled hard enough that he managed to tip the box over, spilling himself out and onto the floor. His head hit the floor with a bit of a crack and it wasn’t exactly comfortable, but he didn’t care. He got to his feet and shook himself, tail wagging. He was  _free_ , and out here, there was so much more to see! Things he’d only seen from an angle, things he’d seen Dean pick up and put down before he could get a good sniff of them.   
  
There by the bed were Dean’s shoes, and they smelled of so many fascinating things he was almost distracted from his purpose. Luckily Dean moved in his sleep just then, his head falling just over the edge of the bed. Cas danced happily closer, hopped up with his feet against the bed to try to nose his hand. He couldn’t quite reach, though, and even though the struggled and kicked higher he still couldn’t make it. He fell back to the hard floor heavily, rolled until he could get his paws under him again. He whined, keep trying until he clipped his chin particularly hard on the bottom of the bed. He yipped a little louder then, fell back on his haunches and shook his head. This wasn’t going the way he’d planned, and now he was lonely  _and_  cold. His head fell back, nose edging up as he whined in frustration.   
  
Finally, Dean stirred. He rolled over, his arm pulling back closer onto the bed. “Go back to sleep, Cas.” His words were soft and slurred, sleepy. When he heard his name Cas cried harder, hopped up onto his back legs to paw at the side of the bed again. Dean shifted again, the side of the bed dipping, and he looked over at the box first before he looked down. “Well, aren’t you the little escape artist.” Dean chuckled low in his chest, reached over to ruffle his ears. “Gettin’ big, huh, Cas? Need to get you a new bed tomorrow.” He slid out of bed, slid a hand under Cas’ chest to lift him into the box that he kicked back up casually before lowering him into it. “There you go. Be good now.”   
  
It was much, much easier to get out the second time, and within a minute he was scratching at the side of the bed again, whining softly. Couldn’t Dean understand? The box was boring and frustrating and confining and he just wanted to stay  _with_ him. He’d be quiet then. They went through the whole process twice more before Dean gave up, sighing and reaching down to pick him up under his front legs, hauling him up over the side of the bed and dropping him onto the mattress somewhere in the middle.   
  
“There. Happy? Now hush, alright? Gotta go in to the garage tomorrow.”   
  
It was better, definitely, but he wasn’t  _quite_  happy yet. He crawled close on his belly, nosed against Dean’s ribs before he pulled himself up cautiously, his nails catching slightly on Dean’s thin t-shirt. He dropped his head down just over Dean’s heart with a sigh, his tail swishing frantically when he felt Dean’s arm curve around his back, holding him in place.   
  
Dean scratched just behind his left ear, rubbed his thumb between his eyes. “Sam ever finds out about this, you’re one dead puppy. Got it?” He still sounded sleepy, and even if he had a tiny bit of that edge he’d hand the time he’d bit down on his hand instead of the bottle, it wasn’t enough to make it seem honest. Besides, what was more important was the way he pulled Cas just a little closer, the way Cas could see him smile in the moonlight when he cracked his eyes. He swished his tail just a little harder, wriggled a tiny bit closer. “Yeah, yeah, alright, good dog. Be still, will ya? Go to sleep.”   
  
There, he slept better than he ever had and that night, he was almost sure there was something else in his dreams, something vast and confusing and largely blue. In the morning, he wasn’t sure what to make of it so he just let it go.   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
Being out of the box opened up a whole new world, and while lots of it was interesting, there were plenty of things he’d have been glad to never find out.   
  
The first thing he discovered was the cats. He’d smelled there scent in the air from the time he’d been brought into the house but he hadn’t had a name for it until now. He’d met them just after breakfast, as he’d been skittering along the kitchen tile behind Dean’s boots. He’d come around the corner to come in contact with something big and black, it’s back arched and it’s fur out and the most  _awful_  noises streaming from its mouth.   
  
He backtracked, his ears pricking forward, tail arching over his back.   
  
“ _Dog_!”   
  
He was almost as shocked by the fact that he could understand the creature as he was that it so obviously hated him. They’d never even  _met_ before! He took a step forward, wagged the tip of his tail and tried his best to look friendly. “Hello. Who are you?” He wagged a little harder, took another cautious step, his neck outstretched. “I’m-“  
  
The cat made it pretty clear he didn’t care. His paw darted out, slapping hard against Castiel’s nose with five sharp claws extended. He yelped, back peddled hard with his hind paws while he tried to rub his nose with his front. The smack had  _hurt_ , a sharp kind of pain, and the muddled confusion was almost as bad.   
  
  
“Rufus, dammit!” He heard the cat hiss, heard his feet on the wood as he bolted off around the corner. He still wasn’t looking, had instead flopped down on his belly on the tile and was rubbing hard at his nose, whining. It was throbbing. "Shhhh, hey, it's ok." Before he could even think anymore about the sting on his nose big strong hands were lifting him up, tucking him inside that comfy leather jacket, pressed warm against his chest. Dean's hand cupped the back of his head, rubbed one ear softly with his thumb. "It's ok. It's ok, babe, I've got ya, alright?" Castiel's eyes were still closed in fear but Dean’s voice was soft and nearby and he nuzzled into his chest on instinct, his tail starting to wag when he felt Dean pull him reflexively closer. He was already coming to associate the smell of the garage and leather and everything that was  _Dean_  with comfort and safety, and wrapped up in it now he wasn't sure why he'd been so bothered by the cat.   
  
  
Dean ruffled his head one more time, shifted him to get a better look. Castiel blinked, opened his eyes just in time to find Dean's eyes close, studying the cut on his nose. His fingers came away with blood on them, but it wasn't half as much as he'd expected to see, considering how it had  _felt_. Dean smiled, rubbed between his eyes. "See? Wasn't that bad; he's just a big bully. You know what, though?" He grinned, rubbed the blood off on his jeans. "I always  _hated_  bullies." He changed his grip on Cas again, yelled back over his shoulder. "Sam! Get down here, we gotta talk about your damn cats."   
  
  
They’d argued then, Sam telling Dean he needed to keep Cas out of the cats’ way and Dean snapping back that Sam should “teach the damn spoiled brats some manners”. In the end, Sam had taken off for school first and Dean had ‘accidently’ locked them all out on the back porch and sat Cas down in the middle of the kitchen, roughing him up gently and telling him he’d be home later.   
  
  
It was his first day of anything like freedom, and at first he was too surprised to do much with it. When that had worn off, he’d sniffed happily around the floor, tail wagging furiously when he found a toast crumb Sam had dropped just under the counter. He’d slept in the sun for awhile, and sometime after that Sam had gotten back home. He threw his bag down in the living room, muttering under his breath when he saw all three cats plastered to the other side of the glass door, yowling impatiently. They were quick to jump into the kitchen, easily clearly the board Dean had stood up against the doorway to keep Cas in.   
  
  
They were graceful, and they landed with hardly a sound. Cas stepped cautiously out from behind a chair, leaned back with one paw pulled to his chest until Rufus had stalked past him, stiff legged. The two that were left were smaller, one even smaller than the other, and they were covered in mismatched patches of black and orange on a white fur. He flopped his tail twice uncertainly, sniffed the air.   
  
  
The smaller cat puffed up, her tail flipping angrily. “I didn’t think he was actually  _keeping_ you.”   
  
  
The larger one swatted back at her, claws sheathed and ineffective. “Jo. That’s not how we greet a guest now, is it?” She slinked forward, low, sliding smooth down almost all the way onto the floor to stretch out her shoulders. “I’m Ellen, honey. This is my daughter, Jo. And that…” She looked over her shoulder, tail twitching once when her eyes fell on him. He was eating Cas’ leftover food. “Is Rufus. He’s a rough old man but he’s a good friend once you get to know him. Though I hear you two got off on the wrong foot.” She stepped closer, a low soft rumble rising in her chest. “Well, you have a name? Where’d you come from? I’m not gonna bite you, kid.”   
  
  
Cas tilted his head, a little bewildered. “I…I’m not sure where I came from.” That much he was definitely sure of. He came from somewhere different, he knew, somewhere vast and complicated, but he couldn’t remember it now. He shook his coat a little, let his tail slowly start to wag. “Dean calls me Cas.”   
  
  
“Well alright, then, Cas. Oh, stop it, Jo.” She was still puffed, her back arched impressively.   
  
  
“The house was full.”   
  
  
“And we’ll make room.” Ellen settled down, began to lick her paws efficiently as Jo stalked off behind her, heading over to join Rufus at the food. “You’ll have to excuse Jo, honey. She loves our Sam, really she does, but she’s been wanting to be Dean’s almost since she was born.”   
  
  
A curious sound slipped his throat at that, low and rough and totally instinctive. He startled a little at his own actions, hopping back a little.   
  
  
Ellen chuckled, her eyes slipping closed as she started in on the next paw. “You dogs. So possession crazy. In any case, she’s jealous of you now but she’ll get over it. Rufus, like I said he’s a good guy once he warms up to you. He’s just old, set in his ways. Sam’s had him for years.”   
  
  
Her voice was warm and friendly and his fear faded enough to let him walk all the way up to her, his tail wagging blindingly fast as he snuffled into the fur at her shoulder. “You smell different.”   
  
  
Her hackles rose just a little and she stepped back, a little warning in her eyes. “That’s because I’m a cat. Ease up a little, huh? If you don’t learn some personal boundaries on your own, Rufus’ll teach you real quick.”   
  
  
He backed up then, his head dipping. “Sorry. I don’t…I don’t know…”  
  
  
“You’re a puppy. You’re not supposed to know anything.” She stretched again, her back arching into a perfect bow. “Here. C’mon and I’ll let you have some of my food. Just for today, you understand. Just ‘till you find your way.” 


	2. Part II

Over the next few days, everything slipped into a pretty comfortable pattern. Dean left him in the kitchen most mornings, and while the hours that Sam was home seemed to change all the time, he was there pretty frequently on and off. He was still avoiding Rufus, and though Ellen had clearly taken to him, Jo still kept her distance. She wasn’t mean, but she wasn’t friendly either. On the days Dean was home he followed him everywhere, playing with his shoelaces and pawing at the edge of his jeans until he gave in and picked him up, always particularly ready to settle Cas down into his lap when he was sitting on the couch.   
  
All in all, everything was going really well. Except that one morning, his gums started to itch. It was just that at first, just an annoying itch that he couldn’t seem to reach. Oh he tried, craning his neck and rolling his jaw and even pawing at his mouth but it didn’t  _feel_ right and it didn’t stop the itch. If anything, it just made him more frustrated. He made a couple circuits around the kitchen, whining, before he settled down beside one of the kitchen chairs. The wood smelled pretty inviting, and when he closed his mouth around it experimentally, he realized his teeth felt just a little better.   
  
The more he chewed the better they felt and eventually he was gnawing away calmly, his tail slowly thumping against the floor. Eventually the wood started to  _really_  splinter and he spit the pieces out, curling his tongue distastefully and licking until his mouth was clean.  _That_  was going to be a little bit annoying. He yipped, rose up on his hind feet with his front paws on the seat to examine the rest of the chair. He wouldn’t have been sure where to try next, exactly, except that there was something in the seat.   
  
It smelled different(and vaguely like Sam), but it wasn’t wood and it seemed worth it to give it a try. It took a few tugs to get it out of the seat, and when it did fall free he scrambled back, hiding pressed up against the cabinet to watch it hit the floor. It fell splayed, opening and laying flat, and when he was sure it wasn’t going to move again he approached it, finally settling down next to one corner to chew. It was softer than the wood and it definitely tasted better. Not to mention, it didn’t hurt nearly as much. He worked at it for a long time until he could feel the ache in his gums soothing. He settled his head down, licked his lips a couple times and kicked against the tile to settle in closer against his headrest before he dropped off to sleep.   
  
He woke with a start sometime later, his pillow being jerked roughly away from him. “Cas…seriously?  _Shit_.” He could hear the annoyance in Sam’s voice, and though he tried to back up quick, he wasn’t fast enough. Sam caught him, tugged him from underneath his arms and held him level with his eyes. “ _Bad_ puppy, you understand? _Bad dog._ ” He sighed, frustrated, and Cas was relieved when he deposited him back on the floor, muttering to himself about having to talk to Dean when he got home.   
  
Meanwhile, Cas was on the floor again and his teeth still hurt and Sam’s boot was right there, and-  
  
“ _Cas_! Dammit,  _no_ , ok? No!”   
  
He didn’t hit him, barely even raised his voice but Cas cowered instinctively, lowering away from the sound and swishing the tip of his tail apologetically against the floor. He couldn’t help it, really. If Sam could only understand that he wasn’t feeling well, maybe he wouldn’t be so angry. He whined softly, eased his head down until the tip of his nose brushed the tile.   
  
Sam sighed, dropped into a crouch and rubbed his back gently with one big hand, soothing. “Hey, it’s ok. It’s ok. Look, I’m sorry I yelled at you, alright? I’m sorry. Just…we can’t do  _this_ , ok? I’ve got some expensive crap around here, and me and Dean, we don’t have the money to be replacing it all. You’ve gotta be a good dog, Cas, ok? You just have to.”   
  
Whatever else about it he didn’t understand, at least Sam wasn’t yelling anymore. He eased forward, licked Sam’s hand until he smiled and his own tail started wagging again. He’d seen already that when Sam was upset, Dean was upset. He couldn’t let that happen.   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
Dean laughed a little, rubbed the back of his neck with one hand while keep the other wrapped around Cas in his lap. “Sam, I don’t know what to tell you, man. Puppies chew, you know? He’s probably teething, poor little guy.” He pulled Cas just a little closer, rubbed his belly when he flopped over willingly onto his side.   
  
“Yeah, I get it, and the chair doesn’t really matter, but you have any idea how much law textbooks cost, Dean? This was one was $180, and compared to some of the others that’s cheap! We don’t have that kinda money to throw around, and you know it!”   
  
Dean sighed, nodding as he looked down at Cas. “Yeah, I hear ya. Look, I’m sorry, ok? We’ll…we’ll figure something out. We’ll just have to keep important stuff out of the kitchen for the time being, I guess. Hell, you know I wanna take him into the garage with me eventually but it’s just not safe with him this small. Can’t do that until I can trust him to stay with me and not do something stupid like chew on a gas can. In the meantime…” Dean rolled Cas over all the way, rubbed his belly harder and Cas growled happily, wriggling and kicking playfully at Dean’s hand. “Let’s go get him some toys, huh?”   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
“Right. So, Cas…” Dean sat Cas down in his lap, ran a hand over his head to get his attention. “This is the impala.”   
  
“Dean, you’re pathetic, you know that, right? He can’t understand you.”   
  
“Pay no attention to jackass over there, listen to me, ok? You have  _got_ to be good in the car. I mean it. No chewin’ on the seats, no drooling, nothing that messes up the interior alright? And you can look out the window if you want when you bigger, but _please_ don’t be stupid enough to jump out, cause then I have to drive back and save your ass. Alright?”   
  
“Seriously? You’re pathetic.”   
  
Cas ignored him, kept his eyes on Dean’s and danced a little on his front feet when Dean kept looking right back. With the cats it was scary when they stared him down, but somehow with Dean it never was. His deep green eyes were calm, steady, and Cas knew that _this_ (whatever it was) was important to Dean. Not for the first time, he wished he could’ve picked up their strange language just a little faster. Still, almost everything seemed to be made better to some degree by sticking close to Dean’s side, so he’d follow that rule this time and hope he did something right.   
  
Dean plopped him down gently into the seat between him and Sam. He wasted no time easing over to nose his head onto Dean’s thigh, and he thumped his tail against the seat when he heard Sam laugh.   
  
“You know, I have license to mock you for the rest of your  _life_  over this. You’re actually spoiling him.”   
  
“Shut up.”   
  
“I mean _really_  honestly spoiling him! Dean, that’s not healthy, from what I’ve read, you get him used to that he’s gonna have serious separation anxiety when you-“  
  
“Well since I’m gonna be takin’ him to work with me eventually, that’s not a problem is it, Sam?” He reached down with one hand, trailed his fingers across Cas’ ribs. “You’re just jealous cause he imprinted on me or whatever the fuck they call it in dogs.”   
  
“No, I just find it funny that Mr. Masculinity over here has a dog that’s gonna grow up looking pretty frilly falling all over him and he doesn’t mind.”   
  
“He is  _not_ gonna be a sissy, I don’t care what his fur looks like. Bitch.”   
  
“Jerk.”   
  
They both laughed, and Cas sighed happily, nuzzled just a little closer against Dean’s leg. He could feel it when Dean was happy, and that was better than anything else. For the first time all day the deep seated itch in his gums wasn’t bothering him quite so bad, and he let his eyes drift shut.   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
The trip to the store was exciting, and though he came home with lots of interesting things to chew he also came home wearing something around his neck. It was heavy and frustrating and it reminded him of the thing that had poked him when Dean had first pulled him out of the cold. Sam and Dean had both agreed it matched his eyes, and they seemed pretty pleased with the thing and with the bits of metal they hung from it. Altogether it was noisy and frustrating, and though he scratched it and whined Dean wouldn’t take it off. After a few days, he was almost used to it.   
  
He was laying on the couch by Dean one night gnawing on his bone happily and ignoring the way Jo glared at him from her perch on the back of the recliner when Sam came in, carrying a bag that he could smell from across the room.   
  
“ ‘m back. Had to go to all the way over to the damn diner to get your pie, the place on the corner was closed.”   
  
“You’re such an awesome brother.”   
  
“I must be.” He sat down heavily on the couch, bag in his lap, and Cas dropped his bone to bound across the cushion, following his nose. Whatever was the bag smelled _fantastic_ , and he almost had his head in it before Sam caught the collar around his neck and jerked him back. “ _No_ , Cas. Stay out of it.” Undeterred, he waited until Sam’s hands were full handing something from the bag to Dean before he tried again, this time actually getting his nose over the edge of the plastic before Sam hauled him out again. “I said _no_.” Sam shuffled the contents around, had just gathered some of it up on a fork before he stopped, smiling. “Well, guess it wouldn’t hurt. Here you go, bud. Knock yourself out.” He scraped the bit on the fork off on his fingers, ignored Dean’s protests and held his hand out for Cas to lick.   
  
It tasted absolutely incredible. It was cold and creamy and crumbly on the bottom and he was immediately sure he’d _never_ tasted anything so good before and he never would again. “See? Told you he could be bought.” He barely registered the sound of Sam’s voice, was far too focused on his hands and the hope that maybe, that next bite would be his too. He pranced forward until he pressed against Sam’s thigh, almost quivering with anticipation.   
  
“Cas.” That was all it took to cut through the jumble of  _more please more_  going on in his head. He jerked around to look over his shoulder with a speed that surprised even him, instinct leaving him no choice but to respond to Dean’s voice just because it was  _Dean_  speaking. Dean’s eyes flicked up to Sam, something like pride gleaming in them. “You told me what now?” His eyes were back on Cas quick, his hand stretched out. “C’mere. You’ll like this better, trust me. I know you’ve got good taste.”   
  
He hopped back over to Dean, stretched his neck out to take the crumbling, gooey bite from his fingers. His tail wagged so furiously he could feel his hind legs loosing balance, and he stumbled a little before staggering forward, still licking desperately at Dean’s fingers. It was hot and warm and spicy and it was Dean’s and even if hadn’t been better anyway, that would have made all the difference.   
  
Dean chuckled warmly, let him finish cleaning his fingers incredibly thoroughly before he stroked him. “Good boy, Cas. Good dog.” He wiped his hand off on his jeans, smirked over at Sam as he picked his fork up again. “See? Good taste. Told you. And he  _still_ likes me best. Face it, he’s my dog.”   
  
“He’s your trained monkey. Seriously creepy.”   
  
“Yeah, whatever.”   
  
Cas lay his head down in Dean’s lap, whining pitifully. It worked like a charm. Every other bite of the warm tasty stuff just ‘happened’ to fall, and he was careful to clean every crumb off Dean’s jeans(as well as those that dropped onto the couch). He could hear Sam try to coax him back a couple times but he was busy, and he hardly noticed.   
  
When he was finished Dean rubbed his ears, stretched carefully before settling back into the couch. “Pie can’t be good for dogs, buddy. We can’t do that much, ok?”   
  
Warm, full, and sleepy, Cas licked the last bit of crust from his whiskers before he fell asleep.   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
“I can’t believe he’s grown so fast! What was it you said you thought he was, Sam?” Someone Dean had called Bobby was in the house, currently on the floor and rolling his ball from the living room down the hallway for him. He chased off after it, only slightly losing his traction on the slick hardwood as he turned the corner.   
  
“He looks almost exactly like a purebred English Setter to me, but those eyes are what keeps throwing me off.”   
  
“Yeah, thought they looked awful…bright. Hey, good boy!” He handed the ball over easily, bowed down on his front legs and wiggled until Bobby tossed it again, the sound of it bouncing off the hall wall sending him scrabbling into a quick turn.   
  
“Yeah, see, puppies are all born with blue eyes, but in most breeds they change really quick. When Dean brought him in, I was pretty sure he  _was_  a purebred and his eyes would change, but they haven’t and he’s well past the age now where they should have.”   
  
“So, I think maybe he’s got a little husky thrown in somewhere, and Sam thinks that’d do it. In any case, he’s mostly setter.”   
  
“Either way, he sure is turnin’ into a nice lookin’ dog, Dean. Hey, Cas, good boy!” He pawed at Bobby’s leg stubbornly, rubber ball held lightly between his teeth. He loved chasing it, but really, holding it and waiting was almost as much fun. He’d figured out over the past couple of weeks that he liked holding things…there was just something so inexplicably nice about having something in his mouth. Honestly, it had gotten him into trouble more than a few times already when he’d gotten caught holding the wrong things(so many of Sam’s things were off limits, it really was impossible to keep track).   
  
Bobby took the ball from him, bounced it away in Dean’s direction this time. Dean caught it, and Cas bounded over to him happily, dropping into an easy bow and tugging on the end of Dean’s jeans with a soft growl.   
  
“Oh, do you want this back? Do you, huh? Well I’m sorry, it’s mine now. You lost it.”   
  
He pranced, dancing uncertainly just outside Dean’s reach, throwing in a low whine for good measure.   
  
“Oh, you  _really_  want it? Sorry, my mistake. Go get it, bud.” He tossed it off down the hall, harder than Bobby had, and Cas could hear it hit the door to their room. He tucked his legs under him, sprinting off down the hall.   
  
“Dean, that dog has you whipped.”   
  
“Shut up, Bobby.”   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
The bigger he got, the more boring the kitchen seemed. He’d paced every inch of it, chewed a good bit of it while his mouth had been hurting, and his toys were only so fun to play with on his own. Even gnawing on his bone lost its appeal after awhile, and Sam wasn’t usually very much fun in the afternoons. He stayed out of the kitchen, and whenever Cas barked to call him down to play, if Sam appeared at all it was only to give him a treat and say that he was busy studying.   
  
Whatever studying was, it was certainly annoying. He’d figured out, at least, that it had to do with the school Sam went to everyday, and that Dean said Sam was smart, and he should be proud of him. He was, because Dean said so, but  _still_ , he’d have rather Sam been able to play a little more and study a little less. Being stuck in one room that wasn’t even his own while his Dean was somewhere else was really frustrating.   
  
He had just flopped down onto his belly on the tile with a loud sigh when Jo jumped the gait, slinking easily across the floor and flipping her tail as she crossed in front of him.   
  
“Bored, puppy?”   
  
“A little. Yes.” He sighed, kicked his hind paws against the tail as his tail wagged a little even at the thought. “I wish Dean would come home.”   
  
“You know…that garage where he goes, it’s not far from here. I know how to get there. I’ve been before, when I got out.”   
  
His head rose up off the floor at that, ears pricking forward. “You can get out?”   
  
She arched, purring, before flopping over onto her side to blink lazily at him. “Well it’s not hard. Yeah, I know how to do it. If you’d like, I could show you. Let you out, and you can go to Dean.”   
  
He all but quivered at the thought, and he raised up high on his elbows, head cocked. “You’d…you’d help me? But I thought-“  
  
“Yeah, well it seems I’m stuck with you. So we might as well get to like each other, right?” She sprang to her feet again, the tip of her tail twitching as she sauntered over to the door that led to the back porch. “I usually go out through the window, but if you push one of those chairs over here, I know how to work this latch. Then, all you’ll need to do is push it to the side a little…you  _are_ tall enough to reach now, aren’t you?”   
  
There was an edge to her voice that made him bristle a little and he leapt up, shook himself and stood to his full height. “Yes. I can reach it.” Honestly, he had been growing at a pretty alarming rate. When he stretched out beside Dean in bed now he was longer, and just the other night Dean had complained very good naturedly that sooner or later he’d be taking up too much room.   
  
“Alright, then.” He shoved the chair lightly with his shoulder, putting enough pressure to scoot it but not enough to topple it over. He’d had some practice with that, having knocked a couple of the kitchen chairs over on accident more than once while he was playing. “Once you get through this door there’s screens outside, but they’re not staple well at the top and a few beats of those monstrous paws of yours should get you out, alright?”   
  
He was past responding, though he was still soaking in the words. He watched her hop up into the chair and bat the latch to the side, reared up on his own back feet to put pressure against the latch like he’d seen Sam and Dean do before. It was pretty easy, and once he was outside , the screen didn’t take as long as he’d thought. He stood there looking at the hole, panting a little with exertion, and he turned back over his shoulder to grin at Jo.   
  
“Thank you. I wasn’t sure you’d ever stop hating me.”   
  
She settled down, tail curling around her front feet. “I’ll see you later, then.”   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
Finding his way to the garage wasn’t as easy as she’d made it sound. He’d wandered mostly through other dogs yards, gotten turned around twice, and though he’d thought he’d caught the motor oil-gasoline-paint smell of the garage once, it had been gone almost as soon as he’d turned around. He’d been walking pavement now for a little while, and not being used to it his feet were starting to hurt. Still, he couldn’t turn back…mostly because he wasn’t exactly sure which direction _back_ was. Oh, he could’ve followed his own trail easily enough, but he was smart enough to know that was winding and out of the way, and he wished he knew a more direct route.   
  
Still, he kept searching, and in the end he finally did stumble on the scent again. He woofed a little in surprise, scampering off down the sidewalk in its direction. It was clear on the breeze, now, and the certainty of getting closer made everything else fade out. The pavement wasn’t as annoying, or the thirst, and his tail was actually waving a little as he ran when he first noticed the scent.   
  
It was strange…odd and familiar and thick. It reminded him a little of a mixture of the pie Dean loved so much and the medicine Sam had taken once when he was sick, and the two didn’t go well together at all. He sneezed, cocked his head and tried to find the garage smell underneath it. The new strange smell was more widely covering, though, and he didn’t have much luck. He shook his head, frustrated, tried to sift through a jumbled mass of blue to remember where he knew it from.   
  
Just then he heard a sharp whisper and something burned across his heels, startling and painful enough that he yelped, leaping out off of the sidewalk and landing bewildered on rougher pavement. The back of his legs hurt just a little, and under the other scent he could smell singed hair. He cocked his head, tried to crane his neck back around to see behind himself to see if-  
  
“ _Cas_!” His head jerked up, blood pumping quick in response to the panic in Dean’s voice. He bounded forward, drawn toward it, and he felt the rush of air as something  _huge_  slipped past behind him. He whirled around, saw the car tear off down the road. His hackles rose then and he skidded to a stop in fear, once leg drawn up against his chest and quivering slightly. He wasn’t sure what direction it had come from so suddenly, and though he could now remember seeing these streets from the windows of the Impala, he’d never been on them on foot.   
  
“No, don’t stop, c’mere, ok? Hurry, Cas, c’mere!” He was terrified, now, and though for a minute he remained stiff legged, the pull toward Dean’s voice won out. He leapt toward it in startled little jerks, half expecting another car to go barreling past him. It didn’t, and he’d just reached the sidewalk and started scanning for Dean when he felt familiar arms warp around him, scooping him up with a little difficulty. “Son of a  _bitch_ , what the hell were you thinkin’, Cas, huh? How the hell’d you even get out?  _Jesus_ …” He felt Dean’s breath against his fur and he whined, wriggled in his arms until he could nuzzle into his neck, licking his cheek once for reassurance. “Yeah. Yeah, I got you. I got you, Cas. S’ok buddy. Just don’t scare me like that again, huh? Gotta teach you to stay outta the damn road…”   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
When they got home, Dean was furious. He yelled at Sam first, and when Sam convinced him he’d had nothing to do with it, he’d apologized to Sam and settled for yelling about the ‘goddamn fucked up door’. He’d calmed down a bit then and looked Cas over good enough to find the burns on his hocks, which he treated with something that smelled funny and made Cas’ skin burn. Dean had been upset, though, so he hadn’t struggled, just licked his hands when he finished. In any case, even if it didn’t feel right then, Dean had never hurt him. He never would.   
  
When that was finished he settled down on the couch, watching sleepily while Dean and Sam took turns fiddling with the latch on the door. Ellen came in the room first, Jo slinking low behind her, her whiskers twitching.   
  
“Go on. Get it over with it.” Ellen was stern, stiff, and the look in her eyes told Cas she wasn’t in the mood to be messed with.   
  
Jo inched forward, hopped up on the couch and hesitantly hovered somewhere near Cas’ nose. “I…” She twitched her whiskers again, mewed in a soft, sad way. “I only wanted to get you in trouble. But Dean says you nearly got killed and…” She ducked her head, her ears twitching. “Well, I’m sorry. And that’s not what I wanted. And I won’t…I won’t lie to you again.”   
  
Cas licked his lips, flopped his tail a couple times against the seat. “It’s alright.”   
  
“Really, it isn’t. I just…” She hesitated, seemed to make her mind suddenly and settled down, curled against Cas outstretched right leg. “I just wanted Dean to pick me, you know? But I don’t think he’s ever noticed me, much. But you…you he wants. And that’s hard, you know. But Sam, he took me and mom in when he had nowhere else to go after my dad got caught…we were alone and pretty much starving and we’re lucky he loves us, really so…I guess it doesn’t matter if Dean likes me, right?”   
  
Cas whine softly in sympathy, went to nuzzle into the fur on her back but stopped when he noticed her tensing. It was so hard to remember that cats didn’t like that. Dean never seemed to mind him touching him. “He likes you. Really, he does. Dean likes everyone.”   
  
“I know _that’s_ not true.”   
  
Cas cocked his head, curious. “Who doesn’t he like?”   
  
“Lots of people. He talks to Sam about them. Still, I guess you’re right. He _likes_  me. He just doesn’t love me the way he does you.”   
  
He wanted to say he was sorry, really, but he felt too good and proud hearing her say it, and he just couldn’t manage to be  _sorry_  over that. Instead, he nosed against her, gentle. “Thank you.”   
  
“What, for nearly getting you killed? Today hasn’t exactly been the highlight on my ‘good deeds’ list.”   
  
“For not wanting me gone anymore.”   
  
She shifted, curled her tail a little tighter over her nose but didn’t move away from his paw. She didn’t say anything else, and she didn’t need to. When Ellen jumped up beside him and started licking his burns, he let himself fall asleep.   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
“Castiel?”   
  
The sound pulled him from a good dream, his head still just a little fuzzy as he shook it.   
  
“Castiel, that’s you, isn’t it?”   
  
He shook his head again, puzzled. It was a familiar voice, but at the same time, it wasn’t exactly a voice at all. It was somewhere between the way he spoke with the cats and the way Dean spoke to him, something inside his head, and though he recognized it he couldn’t place it.   
  
“It _is_ , it has to be, I can see it in your mind! Castiel, it’s Anna, can you remember me?”   
  
 _That_  did the trick. Part of it, at least. It brought back a whole host of jumbled memories he couldn’t make sense of, of blue and white light and almost forgotten friendships and a place in the skies and a trial and…  
  
“Anna?  _Anna_! I’d forgotten! I still…” Still, it was muddy. Like seeing through dirty glass, but the more he focused the clearer it was. The blue thoughts that shifted and usually faded like smoke when he grasped at them, they were memories after all. He’d been sentenced and he’d been cast here on a mission, and somewhere….somewhere there was a Zoi he needed to find. A weapon of some sort, but that was all he could remember. And sometime far back, he and Anna had been friends.   
  
“Yes, Castiel, that’s all right, you’re getting it now.” The sunbeam he slept in seemed to warm a little and he turned, felt the blaze of it against his back. A few more thoughts clicked into place and he shook his head again, turning fully toward the sun.   
  
“This is…this is your world. So it’s _here_ the Zoi fell?” If he was looking for this thing, really he couldn’t have been luckier. At least it was with a friend.   
  
“Yes, it’s here, but I can’t really help you…I’m afraid I don’t know where it is myself. And besides that, helping you at all will be…difficult. Uriel’s trying to get them to strengthen your sentence. Make it exile entirely, one lifespan with no chance of return even if you do find the Zoi.”   
  
That, he didn’t even want to consider. Not yet. His mind was already full of too much new information to start processing the fact that it might not help him at all. “The Zoi…I’ve remembered I need to find it and that they think I killed someone with it and I didn’t, but I can’t remember exactly what it is…just that…I think I would know it, if I smelled it.”   
  
“Well, that won’t be much use unless we can get you near it…and it’ll take some time for me to try to pinpoint it.” She eased up a little on the intensity, light dancing in shadows across the kitchen tile. “I knew you were innocent, Castiel. You were always too gentle for murder.”   
  
Another switch flipped, another hurried jumble stirring in the back of his mind. “Ruby, is she-“  
  
“She’s fine, as far as I know, but we aren’t acquainted.” The light shifted again, and when Cas squinted into the sun he was almost sure he caught a glimpse of her true form, all shimmering yellow gold. “Listen, I have to go for now, but I was hoping you were old enough now to remember. You know I’m backing you on this, Castiel, and I’ll be doing all I can to keep Uriel at bay. It’s too early to start really searching since we don’t have any leads, but I’ll do what I can, and I’ll be in touch. Soon.”   
  
He must have said something for goodbye, but he was too wrapped up in his thoughts to realize exactly what it was. It was as if whole new sections of his brain had been opened up, closets stuffed so full the insides were spilling out of them now and cluttering up everything else. It didn’t all make sense and some of it he wasn’t even sure he wanted to remember. The trial, for instance. Uriel. They’d never liked each other, and this was just one more chance for Uriel to prove Castiel needed to be demoted. Or, apparently, done away with all together.   
  
Just as he was sinking into the mass of new thoughts to try and get a handle on what exactly the Zoi was, he heard the front door opening.   
  
“Cas! I’m home, buddy!”   
  
He was on his feet in a split second, dancing happily near the door by the time Dean came into the kitchen. The minute Dean reached down to take his face in his hands, nothing else mattered. 


	3. Part III

Knowing didn’t really make things any easier. Sure, now he at least mostly remembered why he was here, but there were other things to consider, now. First of all, getting out like that again was out of the question. Not only had Dean added an extra bolt to the door that the cats couldn’t work, Dean had clearly been upset. He wouldn’t worry him like that again.   
  
So, for awhile he’d been thoroughly confined. Not that he minded particularly, not so long as Dean was home. That was one of the strange things, something he could remember well enough now to know he hadn’t suspected. This form he’d been forced to take…strong instincts came with it. He’d expected his search for the Zoi to be uncomplicated, but he felt literally bound to Dean, now. His new instincts would permit nothing that would hurt his beloved master in any way.   
  
For some time he was restricted only to planning in his head. He’d thought of telling Ellen and Jo just what he was looking for, but he was certain they wouldn’t understand. After the last incident Jo had taken quite a liking to him, and he was sure if he told her she’d want to help him. Everything he remembered about the Zoi told him it could and likely  _would_  be dangerous, and he couldn’t let anyone else be hurt.   
  
There were certainly changes, though. He was growing, for one. Really,  _really_ growing. His legs seemed longer every day, and Dean couldn’t pick him up anymore. That part was disappointing at first, but in the end it didn’t matter too much because he could still fit at least half of himself in Dean’s lap, and Dean always let him. A week or so after he’d spoken to Anna for the first time Sam came home talking about someone named Jess, though they hadn’t met her until sometime after. She’d had milkbones in a bag in her purse, and Castiel had liked her immediately. She’s fussed over him properly at the door, and she’d laughed and come over to stoke his head when he’d gone scampering back to Dean as soon as he was done greeting her. She was wonderful, as far as he was concerned, and Dean seemed to like her as well.   
  
All the same, Sam spent most of his nights out with her now, and Cas could see the toll it was taking on Dean. He was almost always happy around Sam, even exuberantly so, but when he was gone…that was a different story.   
  
It had been going on for ages now, or so it seemed. It was at least a couple months since he’d gotten out, as far as he could tell. His understanding of their words had improved considerably, but time was something he was still a little fuzzy on.   
  
Dean was laying on the couch, Cas with his head on his chest, one back leg slipping between Dean’s to rest just against his knee(something Dean protested, because he complained that Cas kicked when he wagged his tail. Still, he never made him move.). Dean turned from the baseball game he’d been watching suddenly, dragged his fingers a little roughly through the fur around Cas’ neck.   
  
“This is a good thing, you know? I really think she’s it. They’re good for each other.” He laughed once, and Cas huffed softly as he rose with Dean’s chest. “Hell, I can’t remember the last time I saw Sammy so happy. And I’m happy for him, Cas, really I am it’s just…” His voice dropped, his hand tightening against Cas’ fur. He nosed closer, left foot kicking against Dean’s knee as he wagged his tail. “Hey, stop that.” He sighed, shut his eyes. “I just miss him, you know? And it’s stupid, I know it is, cause what the hell was I thinkin’….it’s not like I can keep him here with me forever. I just…I just kinda wish I could. Even if it’s selfish.” He let out a deep breath, rubbed hard over Castiel’s shoulders. “ _But_ …he’s gonna marry Jess, and he’s gonna have kids that I’ll be a bad influence for, and me…well, we’re gonna be ok, me and Sam. Nothin’s gonna change between us, right? It never could.”   
  
He asked Cas questions all the time, and every single time he wished that he could answer. He’d tried, of course, but Dean never understood. Language barriers were frustrating. He’d tried particularly hard once, howling until Dean had gently clamped his mouth shut, telling him in no uncertain terms he was about to either break the glass in the sliding doors or convince the neighbors he needed to become a fur coat. At the moment, he wanted desperately to tell Dean that even if Sam left,  _he_  wasn’t. He inched closer, pressed his nose against Dean’s chin and licked him once, reassuring.   
  
“Yeah, yeah I know. Thanks, bud.”   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
When his chance came again, he could at first hardly believe his luck. The morning started out like any other, but when Dean pulled on his jacket before heading out the door, he didn’t put the gate up in the kitchen. Instead, he patted his leg twice, expectant. “Wanna come, Cas?”   
  
 _Did_  he! At first, the prospect of spending the whole day with Dean was enough of a pleasant shock that he was all dog, prancing around in the seat of the Impala, alternating between sticking his head out the window and pressing desperately close to Dean’s side, almost shaking with happiness. It was a short drive, but by the time they got there he’d managed to calm the whirlwind in his brain long enough to realize that this just _might_ be the chance he’d been waiting for. He was out of the house, and if he could find some time to slip away at the garage without Dean noticing, then he could search for the Zoi unhindered. He’d tried sniffing for a few times on their walks, but every time he tried to lead Dean off the sidewalk Dean had balked and tugged him back. Now, if he could only slip out for even an hour or so a day, it’d be better than any attempt he’d made so far.   
  
The first few days, Dean kept a pretty close eye on him. The garage was a little like he’d remembered from his days in the box, all loud noises and bright lights and strange smells. Still, the view from the ground was far different. There were cars coming and going all the time, and Dean and a team of three other men were constantly working at them. Dean had made a place for him near the back on an old bench seat, and it definitely  _was_  the perfect place to sleep. A little bit removed from the worst of the noise, and the sun shone through the typically open door to bathe the seat in warmth. Absolutely perfect.   
  
And, perfect for when Anna wanted to contact him.   
  
He was dozing when he heard her voice for the first time in weeks, his eyes drifting open every now and then to make sure Dean was still there, his boots sticking out from under the side of a pickup truck.   
  
“Castiel, you _really_  need to start working.”   
  
He shook himself a little, skin twitching under the heightened warmth of the sun. “Yes, I know. But Dean-“  
  
“Don’t you see, that’s part of their plan! They didn’t exactly put you in the best position to redeem yourself. If they’d wanted you to  _really_ have a fair shot at finding this thing, they’d have made you human. No, instead they stick you in this body, and now you’re stuck on him but you  _can’t_ let it stop you! You can’t! I’ve kept Uriel from changing your sentence and I’m looking for clues but I can’t do it all, Castiel.”   
  
She sounded desperate, worried, and deep down something told him she was right. He pried his eyes open a little wider, an unbidden whine rising in his throat at the thought of not being here to watch over his master. He’d come with Dean every day for the past week, and though it was mostly watching and sleeping in the sun, Dean sat on the seat beside him and ate lunch every day at noon, rubbing Cas’ flank, feeding him bits of whatever he had and telling him about the cars he’d spent the morning working on. It was wonderful.   
  
Still…the Zoi. Dean had already taken lunch today, and he  _did_  need to get to work…  
  
He leapt off the bench, stretched in the doorway like Ellen always did when she woke up. Jo usually said he looked more clumsy when he tried it. “Alright. I’m coming.”   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
With Dean busy on the cars, it was easy to milk 2 or 3 hours out of his afternoons. If Dean ever noticed him gone, he hadn’t yelled at him about it yet. What was harder was knowing what to  _do_ with the time he spent searching. He was fairly sure the Zoi would smell strong and different once he scented it, but none of that told him how exactly to go about even knowing where to start. Anna had told him she suspected down near the water, but that wasn’t really very much help.   
  
He was pretty lost on the whole thing for awhile, his only lead coming when he least expected it. He was on his way back to the garage one afternoon when the breeze changed and he smelled something that made his hair stand on end. It was sharp and cold and he was off and running in that direction before he could even think. He was absolutely positive it was the scent of the Zoi, and his heart beat madly against his ribs as he ran. If this was it, if that was really truly it and he could find it before the wind changed again…  
  
Except that it both was and wasn’t the Zoi. The scent was, he was sure of it, but it became apparent once he gained on the source of the scent that what he was really chasing was another dog. He was white with blood red ears, and he was covering ground on the sidewalk with the speed of a deer. By the time he caught up to him his sides were heaving, his tongue lolling uselessly out of the side of his mouth, flapping in the breeze.   
  
The dog showed no signs of stopping and he barreled into him, ruining his balance and pinning him by the shoulder into the ground. His advantage didn’t last long. The other dog twisted, snapping, and before long they were in a full on fight, mouthfuls of fur coming away in each others’ teeth. He was losing at first, but there were reserves of his own this body shouldn’t have had, and he drew on those to give him the strength to push just a little bit harder, finally pinning the other dog down beneath him.   
  
He let his mouth hang all the way opening, panting desperately. He could taste fur and the strange taste of the dog itself, all mixed with the bizarre scent of the Zoi. “Where have you got it?”   
  
“Oh, you think I’m hiding it? If I had my hands on it, do you really think I’d be letting you hold me down like this?” His eyes were a disturbingly bright yellow, and they gleamed now, mischievous and not the least bit afraid, even with Cas’ teeth hovering over his throat.   
  
“Who are you? Why do you carry the scent of the Zoi?”   
  
“Azazel. And  _that_ -“ He twisted suddenly, startling Cas enough that he lost his balance, falling to the side enough that Azazel could escape. “Is none of your business, dog. Good luck finding the Zoi, you’ll need it.” His words faded as he streaked off, the scent dying in his wake. He hadn’t seemed tired at all by their exertions, and Castiel was about to drop. There was no way he’d ever re-catch him now, not today.   
  
He made his way back slowly, limping on sore paws. There was no way Dean wouldn’t notice how he was feeling, but he could only hope he’d be more sympathetic and less questioning. The sun burned hotter against his shoulder blades as he walked, Anna zeroing in on him.   
  
“You must be getting closer.  _He’s_ certainly been close enough to it, hasn’t he?”   
  
“He has to have. Though who exactly he is or why he wants it is-“  
  
“As far as I can see, he wants it for his master. I don’t know everything though, Castiel. I’d be careful. That one, he’s dangerous, but the one he serves is worse. Don’t…don’t’ make yourself too obvious, alright? We don’t want to draw attention to ourselves.”   
  
He stepped on a crack in the sidewalk, yelping as a sharp fragment of cement poked hard into his paw. He shifted, brought it up to lick at the wound a moment before forcing himself to keep going. “Why? Is anyone  _really_ still watching? I’m the outcast, Anna, I very much doubt-“  
  
“That’s exactly the problem! The only people paying any attention are the ones that want you dead. Just be careful, alright? But don’t stop looking…you’re on the right track.”   
  
That burned him up a little, but he kept his mouth shut. How could he be on the right track? Yes, he sort of knew the direction Azazel had come from smelling like the Zoi and sure, that was something. But it wasn’t much, and if Azazel had been close enough to it for the scent to be that strong, he was far closer to finding it than Castiel was.   
  
He limped back into the garage exhausted and sore, breath rushing out of him as he hopped up on the seat and flopped down. After a quick scan of the garage he saw Dean, under the hood of a Jeep. He let his eyes close then, tail wagging wearily once or twice as he drifted off to sleep.   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
That night, he hardly moved off the couch. His head was resting on Dean’s thigh while he played XBOX with Sam and Ellen and Jo had both curled up against his side, purring. Even Rufus had gone as far as coming to sit on the end of the couch, paws tucked under his chest and tail curled around his body. He wasn’t ready to cuddle with the rest of them, but no matter how he tried to deny it, Cas was growing on him.   
  
On a break between games he felt Dean’s hands on his head, rubbing gently against his neck and behind his ears. His tail thumped wearily, hardly as enthusiastic as it should’ve been.   
  
“Think something’s wrong with Cas.”   
  
“Dean, he’s fine, ok? You just baby him, I’m sure he’s just-“  
  
“He didn’t wanna play when we got home. He always wants to play with his ball, you know that.” He slid his hand down a little lower, rubbed gently between his shoulders. “Think I’m gonna take him to the vet tomorrow.”   
  
Even half asleep,  _that_ got his attention. That was one place he  _never_ wanted to go again. They’d been a few times, when he was little, and every time it had been horrible. Strange people had picked him up and manhandled him, taken him away from Dean and poked and prodded him with needles and all sorts of horrible other things. He was never sure exactly why Dean took him there, but Dean seemed to think it was good for him, somehow. It absolutely wasn’t.   
  
He lifted his head, nosed against Dean’s ribs and whined, desperate.  _Please don’t. Not that place._  
  
Dean laughed soft, took his face in his hands. “You heard that, didn’t you? Just wanna make sure you’re ok, Cas. That’s all.”   
  
“Dean, he’s a dog, he couldn’t possibly-“  
  
“Didn’t you have some psychology paper where you mentioned a dog that had some crazy vocabulary?”   
  
“That was Rico, a border collie, and yeah, he knew over 200 words. But there’s a difference in that and in picking a word out totally out of context when he doesn’t even know you’re talking about him.”   
  
“Whatever.” He muttered it low, ruffled Cas’ ears. Sam had been on his way into the kitchen for more beer and Dean leaned over while he was gone, green eyes locking with Cas’. “You understand me, don’t you? I’m not crazy, right, cause I’ve been thinking that for awhile and-“  
  
He wriggled, pressed closer as he turned his head to nose against Dean’s palm. It was the best answer he could give, and apparently it was enough. Dean smiled, and his tail wagged harder. It absolutely had a mind of its own. “Hell, maybe I am crazy. Who knows. But I’m pretty sure I’m right. So…” He scratched his ears absently, laughing a little when Cas tilted his head into the touch. “If you’re feeling better tomorrow, we’ll forget it ok? No vet.”   
  
Just then, the doorbell rang. Dean checked his watch, shrugged once before moving Cas enough to stand up. “Sammy, I got it.” As much as he’d have rather stayed on the couch, instinct pulled Cas to follow him and he leapt down, padding down the hallway after him much more slowly than he usually charged the door. He had it open before he even got there, a pretty, brown haired woman standing just under the porch light.   
  
“I know it’s late, I’m sorry, it’s just that my car broke down, and I asked your neighbor to borrow his phone but he said it might be something simple, and that you knew cars? I totally understand if you can’t look at it right now or something but I just moved to town yesterday and-“  
  
Dean poured on the charm, smiling as he leaned against the doorframe. “Absolutely, no problem! Just let me grab a couple things and-“  
  
An unfamiliar emotion had risen in his chest faster than he could think, and he found himself pressed against Dean’s leg, head against his knee, one paw pressing firmly on his boot. Something in the way she was looking at Dean, even in the way he was looking at her… This was  _his_ human, thanks, and no one was going to be stealing him away. There was a growl rumbling in his chest, every muscle in his body tense. He could’ve never explained what came over him, really. There was little thought involved beyond the red hot force of  _mine_ burning in his chest.   
  
She looked a little startled, maybe a tiny bit frightened, but it passed quick. She smiled, knelt down on the porch and held her hand out. “Hey, it’s ok big guy, I’m not gonna hurt him.” She looked up at Dean, her eyes far too warm. “You have a beautiful dog.”   
  
Dean knocked him on the back of the head, gentle. "Yeah, this is Cas. He's usually not such an ass, I swear." He could practically feel Dean's eyes boring into him and he let the growl die to a low rumble in his chest, obligingly tilted his head forward just enough to let her rub his head. He felt _dirty_  from it, a shudder shivering its way down his body, head to tail.   
  
"That’s a good boy, Cas." Dean ruffled his ears, rubbed the right one in between his fingers and just like that his tail was waving frantically again. He could never be angry when Dean was touching him.   
  
She reached out to him again, tipped his chin up in her hands to look at his eyes. Just like everyone always did. "Hey, Cas! You have pretty eyes, don't you boy?" She looked up, talked to Dean. "That's weird for a setter, isn't it? I've never seen one this color anyway, definitely not one with blue eyes like that."   
  
Dean rubbed his thumb over the top of his head, calming. "Oh he's not an Irish Setter. He's mostly English Setter, we think. Sam, my brother, he thought he was a purebred at first cause apparently they're all born with blue eyes or something like that, but his didn't change so..." He shrugged, shifted over to lean against the doorframe. "Sam thinks he's got some husky in him. Can't be much though, cause he sure doesn't look it otherwise."   
  
She rubbed him one last time before standing up, brushing her hands off on her jeans. “Well, he’s gorgeous anyway. I’ve got two dogs of my own. Nothing better than having a dog in the house.”   
  
“Absolutely.” He ran his hand down Cas’ neck, had his collar gripped before Cas could even realize it. “So, let me come out and take a look at this car….could be nothin’ and I’ve a couple tools here at home if it just needs a little work.” As he talked he slipped out the door, pushing Cas back behind him and shutting the door in his face.   
  
It wasn’t that he hadn’t been left before, because he had. But he’d never been left like that, especially not so his master could just walk off with some stranger. He scratched at the door, stopped when he heard Sam tell him to quit from the other room. Frustrated, he flopped back on his haunches and howled, ignoring both Ellen, Jo, and Rufus when they all told him he was being ridiculous.   
  
Finally, Sam was behind him, grabbing his collar and hauling him away from the door to take him and shut him up in Dean’s room. “Cas, it’s alright, ok? He hasn’t left you, he’s coming right back! Geez you’d think you’d be used to this, he used to leave you here all day long, remember? It’s ok, Cas. Just…wait for him here, ok? And don’t chew anything up, cause he’ll kill me.”   
  
He nosed at the shut door for a minute, whining softly. Now, he was even cut off from the cats. Lonely and feeling more than a little betrayed, he jumped onto the bed and settled down in the covers, shuffling around until he could lay his head on the spot that smelled most like Dean.   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
He wasn’t sure how late it was when Dean came in, but he woke up the minute he heard him shut the door. He jumped off the bed and ran to him, whining happily and swirling around his feet, eagerly licking his hands when he could reach them.   
  
Dean laughed, crouched down to let Cas wiggle into his arms, pressing against his chest. “Easy, Cas, it’s alright, babe. Could hear you howling all the way from the damn street, buddy, what the hell was goin’ on, huh? You know I’m not leavin’ you here. Being stuck as Sam’s dog, you think I’d make you do that? You’d never have any fun!” He flipped him over on his back easily, rubbed his belly till he calmed down. “That’s better, huh? Just trust me a little bit, alright? I’m not runnin’ off without you.” One last thump against Cas’ ribs and he stood up, crossing over to the dresser and changing quickly in the dark. “Still, she was  _hot_ wasn’t she? I mean, c’mon, who has that kind of luck? Hot girl breakin’ down right out in front of your house? Amazing.” He flopped back into bed, patted the space beside him. “C’mere, Cas. Sleep.”   
  
He joined him, settling in with his head over his heart just like he had every other night since he’d been a puppy. Somehow, though, he didn’t feel completely reassured.   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’  
The night after that, he started hearing the howls. They seeped in through the cracks in the windows, eerie and high and cold, and even though he had no rational reason to be sure of it, he was certain it was Azazel. They came from the same direction he’d been when Cas had run into him that first time, and they sounded lost and desperate and yet terrifying all at once. Dean and Sam never commented on them and the cats were only frightened of them, so wasn’t sure if the humans could even hear him or not. Either way, even if he wanted to get out and go after him he couldn’t. Not after dark.   
  
He did the best he could, though, kept searching during the day, and it wasn’t long before he found out exactly why Anna had wanted him to be so careful.   
  
He was crouched down, sniffing a pile of limbs near the roadside down around the area he’d seen Azazel come from when he caught a strange scent. It was thick, sickly sweet, and he could remember smelling once before, when he’d been young and gotten out on his own for the first time. It was strong enough to hurt his nose a little, and he shook his head, rubbed his paw across his nose.   
  
“Castiel, you have to get out of there.  _Now_.” Anna sounded panicked and he stood up to his full height, tense.   
  
“Why? What’s-“   
  
“Just  _go_ , will you?”   
  
He didn’t ask any more questions. There was real fear in her voice, and he if he was honest with himself something about the scent unnerved him, too. He took off, bounding out of the meadow with as long as stride as he could. From everything Dean had said he was almost full grown by now, and he could cover a lot better ground than he’d been able to before. Still, he could tell that whatever carried the smell was gaining.   
  
It would have smarter, really, if he’d gone somewhere else, but at the moment he could think of nothing but getting back to Dean. Whatever this was, he’d be safe there. He breezed through the back door at record speed, not stopping at his bed but going past it, paws spinning helplessly for a moment against slick concrete. Getting his traction took him just long enough to scan the garage for Dean, and when he could run properly again he bolted to where he stood beside an old Trans Am, panting heavily as he squeezed himself between Dean and the car.   
  
“Geez, Cas, what lit a fire under your tail, huh? “ He reached down, rubbed his head gently. “One of the cars scare you or something? Something outside.” Yes, something like that. He whined, pawed nervously at Dean’s jeans. “Hey, s’ok, Cas, huh? It’s ok. C’mon, I’ll get you some water but then I’ve gotta get back to work, and you need to stay out of the way, alright? Be good.”   
  
The smell had never dissipated, and it came on then in full force, just as a woman knocked on the open back door. The minute his eyes fell on her he _knew_ , and he grabbed onto Dean’s jeans with his teeth, desperate. Dean reached down and pried his jaws apart, a little impatient. “Will you relax? She’s just a customer.”   
  
His instinctive fear of her-whoever she was-urge him to stay by the car, but his need to be close to Dean won out and he followed him to the door, slinking. Dean wiped his hand on his jeans, held it out to her. “Dean Winchester, ma’m. Can I help you?”   
  
She took his hand, smiled in a way that somewhere between formal and too friendly. “Ruby. I’m in the neighborhood looking for a lost dog…an English setter just like that one, actually.” Her eyes bored into him, through him, and his head was spinning with the realization.  _Ruby_. His companion, the one he’d  _trusted_ , the one he’d ask to speak to the court on his behalf…  
  
He could remember it better now, standing on the side of the road, feeling something burn against his heels…that would have been easily within her power. He pranced nervously behind Dean, tugged impatiently on the hem of his shirt. They needed to go, to get home and hope to God that Ruby couldn’t find him there.   
  
Dean shoved at him halfheartedly, tried to get him to let go of his shirt. “Are you? Well, I’ll keep an eye out.”   
  
“This dog…how long have you had him? The puppy would’ve been lost some time ago, he-“  
  
“Well, this guy’s all mine, but if I see anyone around here his age, I’ll let you know, alright? Leave your phone number with Richie over there.” He pointed at one of the other mechanics outside at a picnic table, eating a late lunch. She was slow to leave, and Dean didn’t take his eyes off her till she was across the yard and facing away from the door, talking to Richie. “Here. C’mere.” Dean muttered softly under his breath, pulled Cas back by his collar and shut the back door, tugging Cas behind him into his office. “I hate to lock you up, but I don’t trust her...maybe she did lose you, but she’s got no right to be coming after you now.”   
  
The fact that she had followed him here, had been on his trail since he was a puppy…that was more than enough to tell Castiel  _exactly_  what she wanted. There had been rumors among their star cluster, rumors that she wanted more, that she desired to take the sphere for herself but he’d never believed any of them. She seemed to loyal, too firmly on his side to have ever contemplated actually overthrowing him. But now, he had no doubt. She wanted his power, and her set up was almost complete. It wouldn’t be hard to kill a dog, and once she found the Zoi, she’d have not only his position but one of the most powerful weapons. He couldn’t let that happen. Finding the Zoi now was more imperative than ever, but at the same time, he couldn’t very well parade out looking for right under her nose. She had him thoroughly trapped.   
  
He whined, circled anxiously around Dean’s desk chair.   
  
“I know, it’s annoying, but you’ll just need to lay low for a few days, alright? Just until she’s gone. I’m almost done, maybe we can cut out of here early tonight, alright? Just me and you and the house tonight, Sammy’s taken Jess out to that movie and I’m pretty sure he’ll be staying with her.”   
  
Which meant that if Ruby wanted to come after him with the least damage done, she couldn’t have picked a better time.   
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
That night, he couldn’t sleep. He’d only been able to bring himself to get into bed for about 5 minutes, but he felt like his skin was crawling with the anticipation and he hadn’t been able to lie still. He’d hopped off the bed to pace the floor anxiously, and though Dean had tried several times to coax him back he’d finally given up, eventually falling asleep though he didn’t seem to rest quite as easy as he usually did. Deep down, Cas couldn’t help but be a little pleased at that.   
  
He didn’t smell her coming until almost dawn. Frantic, he ran to the bed, nosing against Dean’s hand. He needed to be up, ready. Castiel wasn’t sure what he was going to do just yet, but Dean  _had_  to be with him. That wasn’t an option.   
  
Dean barely cracked his eyes, warm and sleepy. “Mm? Cas? Go to sleep, alright? It’s-“  
  
He couldn’t let him stall, not now. He barked, the sound loud and echoing in the quiet and he knew he really shouldn’t have done it.  _She_  would hear. Not that it mattered too much at this point, really. He tugged the blankets back from Dean’s shoulders, hopped up on the side of the bed to stick his cold nose against his cheek.   
  
Groaning, Dean rolled over, shoving him back. “Alright, alright, I’m up. You wanna go out, is that it? Just give me a sec, ok?”   
  
It didn’t take him long to get up, but every second he could  _feel_ her getting closer. It was unnerving, and he was relieved when Dean rolled out of bed and came with him to the door. The cats were already in the living room, Rufus up on the coffee table, his back tentatively arched.   
  
“ ‘the hell’s out there?”   
  
“Stay  _back_.” It was all he could tell them on such short notice, and he knew it wouldn’t be enough. He stayed ahead of Dean in the hallway, antsy, and when Dean tugged open the door he bolted out just in front of him, planting his feet on the porch and growling furiously into the darkness.   
  
She was already there, in the yard, and just as Dean started to ask her what the hell she was doing, she raised her hand, her fingers throbbing with red glow as she prepared to kill them both.   
  
Just then, though, they were saved by something he hadn’t expected. A haunting howl, sharp and prickling, and Castiel could smell both Azazel and the Zoi on the wind. Apparently, so could Ruby. Her eyes gleamed and she whirled away, running with inhuman speed in the direction of the sound. He had no choice but to follow her. Whether Azazel  _had_  been hiding the Zoi or if he was just close to it now, either way, he couldn’t let either of them have it. Particularly her. He barely heard Dean behind him, hardly registered the fact that he was probably following him. In all likelihood, it wouldn’t matter. They’d probably lose him soon, and Dean could go back home, safe. Once all this business was over, he could go back home too. For the moment it seemed that simple, his thoughts narrowed down as he ran. He couldn’t think too much about the aftermath, couldn’t think of what he’d say to Ruby or to the court once he found the Zoi. He knew only that he had to be the one to claim it.   
  
They left the neighborhood, ran in fields with deep grass that soothed his paws. Ruby fired a jet of light back over her shoulder and he dodged it, smelled the grass burst into flames as he passed and hoped that Dean wasn’t following anymore. Even for Dean, he couldn’t spare a look back. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, couldn’t take his focus off the periodic call of the hound and the scent of Zoi and cold, dark dog on the air. Even _her_ scent couldn’t cover that.   
  
It seemed like ages before he actually caught  _sight_ of Azazel, running desperately, gleaming white in the moonlight. He stretched and flowed over the ground like silk, and it would have been mesmerizing if he let it. He pushed harder, dug his claws into the dirt and forced himself to come up almost even with Ruby, dodging a couple more bolts of heat. She couldn’t waste much energy on him, and for that he was lucky. If they’d been still and she’d had her focus, he would’ve been dead.   
  
Finally,  _finally_  Azazel was coming to a stop. He’d come up even with Ruby in the run, and he surged just ahead of her, caught the tail end of Azazel’s muttering’s.   
  
“…it’s  _there_ , it’s right there, I  _know_  it…”  
  
He skidded to a stop, his eyes casting around wilding. “I _knew_ you had it.”   
  
Azazel looked up from the weeds, seeming to notice his pursuers for the first time. “No. Not exactly. See, I’ve _found_ it, but I can’t pick it up. Only my master can. But I don’t know how to bring it here, or bring him to it, or-“  
  
He saw Ruby twitch out of the corner of his eye, and he lunged into the tall weeds before she could break into full on movement. Whether he’d be able to pick it up or not, he had to at least try. He followed the scent, scrabbled around a little in the weeds until his foot connected with something heavy, and he darted his jaws down, snapping them shut around it.   
  
In that moment, everything changed. It hurt,  _God_ , it hurt but that part was short, more disorienting than painful. A split second and then he was strong, tall, power flowing through him unrestrained like it had since he was born. He could _remember_ now, all of it, and he rolled his shoulders, felt how  _good_ it felt to have his own body back again. He’d grown so accustomed to the dog, to fur and poor eyesight and…  
  
He whipped his head around, looking down. Azazel was there, whining in frustration. His own body was at his feet, warm and twitching and barely dead. And Ruby…she was screeching in fury, stepping back from the heat of his true form and turning on… _Dean_.   
  
Seeing that, he didn’t think. He Zoi felt familiar and steady in his hand and he turned it on her with hardly a thought, watched as she simply blinked out of existence. It always  _had_  worked more smoothly when it fed off emotion.   
  
If Dean could see him, he didn’t show it. He went instead to the body of the dog he had been, wrapped it up in his arms and cradled it against his chest, whispering into his ear the way he always had when Cas had been frightened. Overwhelming  _need_  surged in him then and he knelt down to get closer, reached an arm out toward him. If he could just  _touch_  him, tell Dean that it was alright, that-  
  
The grass burst into flames near his fingers and he yanked his arm back, horrified. What had he been thinking? He couldn’t get near him, not like this, not…  
  
Dean look back toward the fire, brought a hand up to shield his eyes against the brilliant blue light. There were tears in his eyes, and Castiel had never hated himself more than he did in that moment. He hadn’t wanted the Zoi to fall into dangerous hands, and when he’d been sentenced he’d thought he’d want nothing more than to come back home but now…now dying as Dean’s dog sounded like a wonderful fate. Dying as Dean’s  _anything_ …that would be a blessing. Now…  
  
Frantic, he turned toward the horizon, faced the direction where Anna was just starting to be able to see just what was going on. “Anna! Please, I-“  
  
“You have it! Castiel, that’s-“  
  
“Yes, I have it, now please…please…” He went to her, the distance seeming nothing to him in his true form. “Please, take it and put me back.”   
  
That, she hadn’t expected. She shook her golden hair back, studied him with curious blazing eyes. “You…Castiel, the main point of this was so you could come home. Clearing your name. When I testify that Ruby came here to kill I’m sure that they-“  
  
“I don’t care.” And really, he didn’t. He’d never cared about any victory less than this.   
  
“You were a dog for some time, I’m sure the residual emotions-“  
  
“That’s  _part_  of me now, don’t you understand? The dog, it’s gone, but this…” So many of his dog thoughts were gone now. The fascination in the scents and thought of chasing his ball and how it felt to wag his tail when Dean came home from work. But the rest of it, the need for the man who had been the center of his world for months, that hadn’t faded. It was emotion that had branded into him, seeped through to the core. “Please. I’ve earned the right to go home, haven’t I? Wasn’t that what I was supposed to receive, if I completed this task?”   
  
“ _Yes_ , but you-“  
  
“Then take this.” He reached out and took her hand, curved her fingers around the Zoi. “And send me  _home_.” He met her eyes, let her feel how much he meant this with everything he had. “I want to stay with Dean. That’s all.”   
  
She sighed, ran her fingers over the rough surface of the Zoi. “The court said you were a free man if you returned it…”  
  
“Free to make my own choices then, I would presume.”   
  
“Alright.  _Alright_. I can try, Castiel, if you’re sure, but I’ve never-“  
  
“You can use it. Just focus.”   
  
She slid her palm down the rock, paused as she considered. “That’s what you want, then? To be with Dean? That’s it?”   
  
“Yes.” He answered without thinking, at first. Skimming over her words again in his head he was a little more cautious, brought his eyes back up to meet hers. “What exactly do you-“  
  
He didn’t get the chance to finish asking his question. 


	4. Epilogue

When Castiel woke up, he had no idea where he was. He was laying on a bed somewhere, that much was for sure, but it was unfamiliar, stark and white and uncomfortable. Not to mention he could smell _nothing_ in the room…nothing at all. And his body…  
  
He sat up suddenly, ran his hands down his chest. Human  _hands_ , on a human body and…   
  
“ _Anna_ …” The awe was strong in his voice, his eyes coming open wide. He’d hoped for the chance to be Dean’s dog again but  _this_ …well it was either better or worse and he wasn’t sure yet. His mind was suddenly a jumbled mess of possibilities, everything from visions of Dean wrapped around him on the couch like he’d seen Sam wrapped around Jess to the fact that as a human Dean might never let him as close into his life, might never speak to him again…but surely if he had no chance of being with him, Anna wouldn’t have done this. That, at least, was what he hoped.   
  
He took a deep breath, pushed off the bed and walked in the direction of the bathroom he could see off from this bedroom. This form was closer to his own, and though he’d spent months getting used to four legs and a tail, it felt nice to be walking on two again. He flicked the light on in the bathroom, turned to look at himself in the mirror for the first time.   
  
His eyes, those were still the same, and he was glad at least one thing hadn’t changed. They were brilliant blue, almost as deep as his true color had been. He was average height he supposed, though he didn’t have much frame of reference. He had messy brown hair, a crooked blue tie and a rumpled trench coat, and he had no idea who the hell he was supposed to be. Was this his apartment? Had she stuck him in some man’s body, or made this body for him? He knew absolutely nothing, except that he wanted to get to Dean as soon as possible. She’d have known that, and she’d have put him close by.   
  
The rest, who he actually was…it should have mattered, and he probably should have taken the time to try to find out, but he couldn’t. He just wanted Dean, even if that meant just telling him the truth…however horribly that might be received.   
  
Once he was outside and down a couple flights of stairs, he recognized the place. It had the big sign that said Red Roof Inn, and it was just down from the garage. He could definitely find his way from here. He knew it should have been one of those days when Dean was home but Sam had class, so he should be home. Perfect. That was, at least, if he could come up with the right thing to say.   
  
He was caught up in trying to figure that out, right up until he found himself at the door. He took a deep breath then, shoved one hand in the pocket of his trench coat and rang the doorbell, his nerves jangling. The sound of footsteps in the hall had his heart in his throat, and by the time he heard the lock turning he was terrified. Dean wouldn’t know him, he’d never believe him, and…  
  
“Hello?”   
  
“ _Dean_.” It came out before he could stop it, his eyes meeting Dean’s. Emerald green, and he couldn’t help but be mesmerized. He hadn’t mean to come right out with that but…  
  
Dean stepped back, eyes narrowing. “Who-“  
  
“I’m Castiel.” He blurted it out as quickly as he could, low and rough and a little stronger than he felt. He shoved his other hand in his pocket, his shoulders hunching. Any minute now, Dean would tell him he was crazy, slam the door in his face, anything. Probably both.   
  
Instead, he stepped closer, dipped his head just a little to catch Cas’ eyes again. His eyes widened a little as he caught Cas’ blue eyes, and Castiel latched onto the tiny sliver of hope that gave him.   
  
“I…I died last night in the field, I know. Or, the dog died, and I was the dog but also really me and…“ He trailed off, unsure how exactly to explain. “Dean, I-“  
  
“ _Cas_?” Even human, the thrill he felt when Dean said his name hadn’t changed. He felt his whole body warm with it, the sound squeezing at his chest in ways it never had before.   
  
He nodded, his throat dry. “Yes.”   
  
“Holy shit…” He blinked, still just a little in shock before he stepped back, holding the door open. “Jesus, c’mere, I…”   
  
He stepped in, resisted the urge to pull Dean into a hug. He’d been on the receiving end of them so many times that the urge to return it was almost uncontrollable, especially now. He stopped himself, barely, but he still stepped in close, hovering. “I know, it’s complicated, and I can try to explain, really I-“  
  
Dean motioned toward the living room, gestured for Cas to sit down beside him on the couch. “Alright. Start talking.”   
  
“I…I think humans call us stars. It all started when I went to court…”  
  
‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’   
  
“…and so I told Anna if I could choose, I wanted to come back here.” He hesitated, his eyes flickering away. “To stay with you.”   
  
Dean let out a deep breath, leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “Wow.”   
  
“I know, believe me I  _know_  it sounds crazy but Dean, I swear, I-“  
  
“It’s ok, Cas. I believe you.” He laughed once, short. “God help me, but I believe you.” He looked over at Cas, crooked smile in place. “This is insane though, you know that right?”   
  
“Yes.” He shifted just a little bit closer, looked down steadily at the coffee table. “Ruby…she was my companion.” He couldn’t help it, he needed to talk about her betrayal to someone, and Dean was the only one he would’ve wanted to let see just how much it had bothered him.   
  
“Is that...was she like your wife?”   
  
“Something like that, yes.”   
  
“Damn.”   
  
“Yes.”   
  
“So…” Dean cleared his throat, sat back against the couch and turned to face Cas, eyes trailing over him. “Do you even have any semblance of normalcy, here? A job, anything?”   
  
“She told me nothing. I’m…assuming no.”   
  
Dean smirked, reached over with gentle hands to straighten his tie. “Well, our first order of business is gettin’ you some new clothes. You look like a friggin’ tax accountant.”   
  
His heart jolted at the feel of Dean’s hands brushing against his chest. It was something new, utterly unfamiliar. The image of Sam and Jess popped up in the back of his mind, and he leaned forward on instinct, his lips brushing against Dean’s. He pulled back almost instantly, his eyes squeezing shut. “I…I’m sorry, I-“  
  
Before he could get any farther, Dean’s hand was on his chin, pulling him that last inch closer. This time it was a  _real_  kiss, still tentative but Dean put some pressure behind it, his thumb rubbing gently against Cas jaw when he tensed up too much to relax into it. Dean’s lips moved smoothly against his, and though he tried to mimic it he was sure he wasn’t managing quite as well as he should have. He didn’t think he should be blamed for that entirely, though, because this was an utterly new sensation for him and his head was absolutely spinning.   
  
Dean took a breath before pulling him in closer, parting his lips and putting just a little more into it, and Castiel gasped when his teeth caught his lower lip, tugging on it gently. One more kiss and he was fairly sure he had the rhythm of it, his lips moving well enough with Dean’s to earn him a soft sound of his own. Dean pulled back then, rested their foreheads together and laughed softly, his breath cool on damp skin.   
  
“Cas…this is a little screwed up, you know that right?”   
  
“I…yes.” It should’ve been, sort of. But at the same time, it wasn’t. His feelings for Dean had been different before, but now…all that love and devotion had had to fit into his soul somewhere, and he wasn’t a dog anymore. As a human…this worked. It made sense. “But it…at the same time, it isn’t. Or at least…I don’t care.”   
  
Dean smiled, real and warm, and his thumb rubbed against the side of Castiel’s neck. “Me either. C’mere.” He pulled him against his chest, hugging him fiercely. “I thought you were really dead, you know. It was terrible. I’d never…well everybody at work would’ve just said you were a damn dog, you know? I just….” He swallowed, held on a little tighter. “Anyway, Sam, he understood. Thinkin’ you were really, gone, man I…”  
  
He pulled back, let Dean see the regret in his eyes. “I’m sorry. I-“  
  
“It’s ok.”   
  
They lapsed into silence, comfortable and easy. Out of habit Cas shifted until he rested against Dean’s chest, and he smiled when Dean’s arms came up around him. A thought came to mind then and he almost sat up, his eyes widening. “How are you going to explain all this to Sam?”   
  
Dean laughed, and he could feel him shake his head. “I don’t know, man. The truth, maybe? I don’t know. But we’ll think of something.” 


End file.
